How can we Help Different People in the Current Crisis of War?

(Translation Maria Marshall)

How can we help different people among us, most of them unwittingly involved in this catastrophe, based on what we can do and what is possible to offer? We need to bear in mind that it’s not just one boat, it’s an ark, with the following different groups of people:
1. PEACEFUL PEOPLE UNDER ATTACK
2. THOSE IN THE LINE OF FIRE
3. MILITARY THAT ATTACKS
4. PEOPLE WHO ARE CITIZENS OF THE COUNTRYTHAT ATTACKED AND DO
NOT SUPPORT THESE ACTIONS
5. PEOPLE WHO ARE CITIZENS OF THE COUNTRY THAT ATTACKED AND
SUPPORT THESE ACTIONS
6. MILITARY AND POLITICAL LEADERSHIP OF A COUNTRY THAT SUSTAINED
AN ATTACK
7. MILITARY AND POLITICAL LEADERSHIP, ATTACKING COUNTRIES
8. PEOPLE FROM OTHER COUNTRIES NOT INVOLVED IN THE WAR
9. THE LEADERSHIP OF OTHER COUNTRIES WHO MAY TAKE THE SIDE OF
ANY OF THE OPPOSING COUNTRIES
10.PEOPLE FROM SOCIALLY VULNERABLE GROUPS: CHILDREN, SICK, OLD
PEOPLE
11.WOUNDED ON BOTH SIDES
12.PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LOVED ONE(S) IN WAR

1. PEACEFUL PEOPLE UNDER ATTACK
Exploding shells seem like shock, absurdity, total injustice, the root of a massive heart ache and anger. Fear, resentment, anger, impotence are the leading emotions. Instantly, a desire is born to answer the aggressor in kind, so that, having felt pain himself, he would stop the violence. This is the first wish. It is perfectly understandable, because it arises as a seemingly natural response, appropriate, adequate. An eye for an eye. That’s how you think, that’s how it feels. The goal is to get rid of what you didn’t choose, to shake off fear, pain, disgust. The first shock will pass, and two important thoughts need to be invoked: I should not (will not) choose evil: reciprocal aggression equates mewith the aggressor, and I am not the aggressor. And the second: my children (grandchildren), myself – right now are not obliged, we have no need to agree to deprive ourselves of human likeness. For the sake of a loved one, for him or her, I will preserve my humanity. Whatever it takes. The aggressor wants first of all to liken me to him or her – I am not him or her. The war will end, and I will remember about it. I will remember myself and those who are nearby, close to me. What will I go out with? Not what the aggressor is preparing for me, but what I am preparing for myself.

2. THOSE IN THE LINE OF FIRE
This is the first line of defense. Most often these are young guys, maximalists, daredevils. But also quivering people who do not want to shoot at all. But they are forced. It’s scary to kill someone else. Even if you are protecting yours. Yes, everything is given to us for temporary use: land, house, wealth, food, clothing, but we protect it as if it were us. How to protect that, the symbol of which is the house, the earth? It’s about love, closeness, warmth that grows on this earth, in these houses. Can it grow anywhere? Yes. I can leave home, but love will stay with me. And no one will ever take that away. If I decide to give or leave. Every warrior should know that he is not protecting the belongings, but what these belongings serve, what they are a symbol of. And this is impossible to take away.

3. MILITARY THAT ATTACKS
There was an order, they serve. But to whom, what? Put aside the statehood, belonging, nationality of the warring parties, and what remains? Just a man. He differs in age, eye color, education, talents, but how is he like you, who is considered an “enemy”? Where, in what do you agree? What do you see the same way? And this is so much. You and him have a mother, sister or brother, you laugh at the same thing, however, you have a slightly sharper sense of humor, and he grasps faster, but laughs at similar things. And his mother or wife cooks chicken according to almost the same recipe. And you like black bread, not Borodino or with some other additives, and maybe without additives. You have wives who are somewhat similar, so you figured. And your daughters cry over Hachiko. A warrior who attacks, you didn’t dream about it when you went to kindergarten, and your aunt asked – who do you want to be? You did not answer, “I will shoot at the Ukrainians.” You said that you would be a programmer, or a driver, or a blogger. In general, I thought to make good money and travel, to cure my mother, to buy my father cool watches. The war will end, but for you it will take a long time to come to mind. And you will always try not to talk about it, not to remember. Because you can’t be proud of it, no matter what they tell you. You know, you feel, you will not be fooled: it’s all for nothing, a bad story. You have been told since childhood that war is evil. And no excuses are acceptable. What can you do? Refuse to kill. This is not a violation of the oath, the oath is written by people, but there is something that is higher, or the main thing: it is conscience. Yes, do not wince – this is the best we have; she will help even when nothing else will help. She will pull you out.
And outweigh fear and set an example for others. You will become the one with whom the countdown for decency begins. It can be contagious.

4. PEOPLE WHO ARE CITIZENS OF THE COUNTRY THAT ATTACKED AND DO NOT SUPPORT THESE ACTIONS
So much suffering is felt by those who feel like hostages: they belong to the country of the aggressor, but do not share these actions. And they receive curses from those on whom shells rain down. And they feel that they deserve these curses because they did not prevent them, while at the same time believing that there was little that they could do. Between hammer and anvil: to belong to the country of the aggressor, without sharing it, to receive aggression without deserving it. Considering that one has little right to say that evil begets evil, that an eye for an eye only perpetuates lawlessness, considering oneself not entitled to speak about it. But it is not so. Taking responsibility to resist evil and aggression in my thoughts and in my actions, is where I decide that I will not get involved in wars of words. I will understand that the person who accuses me, in a state of emotional intensity from his pain, does not attack ME, but drives away evil with his cry, and this will help me not to fall into a response screaming position. Evil multiplies. Mentally hugging an attacker, where “evil words are not for me,” and knowing that if trouble happened to me right now, he, after standing for a while, would begin to help me…
Even saying that you need help, he would begin to help you. It is a fact. You need to know this; you need to believe in it. This will help those who are in righteous anger.

5. PEOPLE WHO ARE CITIZENS OF THE COUNTRY THAT ATTACKED AND SUPPORT THESE ACTIONS
These people are our relatives, colleagues, friends. Yes, they may consider that the attack is a necessary measure, that in this way they protect those who suffered before, who had it bad. And therefore, all the liberation is happening now. People think that such “surgery” will bring relief. They are for the good in their thoughts, but they ONLY allow liberation through bloody surgery. Perhaps firmly fixed ancestral memory in the form of how it was during the Second World War, when there was a liberating army, and it turned out to be a tracing paper, attempting to copy that. But it is not always possible and necessary to act with only one means, one method to solve the problem. Having accepted war as a possible option, do not stop there. To stop there would be as absurd as if we were talking to a person who said that the only way to cope with a difficult situation for him is to throw himself out the window, or eat feathers, or go out naked in winter. We actually have a lot of freedom to do things in a wide variety of ways. What is responsible, what is innovative, to choose the most suitable one, to hit the bull’s-eye. And this is clearly, and obviously, not the option of a war, because not everyone will see the fruits of such a choice, and if we are talking about liberation, then it ought to be not liberation, selectively. And even if we suddenly think: they cut down the forest – the chips fly, then how are we that we take this position for granted? How do we feel about what we considered it to have the right to life – that some must die. And who are these some? Why do we offer them this option? What do we feel at the same time in the depths of our hearts? After all, we are a little (or a lot) embarrassed for this, we are trying to explain ourselves, and this is our conversation with conscience. This is the best conversation, and the fact of our excuses, explanations says that we must hear the voice of conscience. Before explaining, listen to what she has to say. Do not explain yourself first, give her the opportunity to finish, and she will suggest the best solution, and it will definitely be something better, and it will NOT be a WAR, but it will be the most successful solution from all sides. And we will be proud of it, we will be glad, it will inspire us.

6. MILITARY AND POLITICAL LEADERSHIP OF A COUNTRY THAT SUSTAINED AN ATTACK
What will happen to millions of other people depends on their actions. What will they be guided by, where, what will be the focus of their attention: on the most current and urgent, or also on what should be in the future. This is the most difficult thing – to look at today and later. Metaphorically speaking, we have two eyes not only for binocular vision, but also so that we can “at least with one eye” look at the future, which through my choice in the present, will become the past. The future is chosen for the subsequent stay in the past, as in truth, which cannot be changed. But the future is a possibility. It is doubly difficult for the leadership of a defending country, because the line between defense and attack is thin and permeable. To see yourself not as a victim in the current, and not as a powerful rights holder in the future. And at the same time, do everything to protect your country, but not at any cost. This is the most important moment – not at any cost. When you understand that not all means are good, then this reduces militant emotionality. When you don’t want to take the place of the dragon by killing it. An extremely difficult task, especially when your country involuntarily wants revenge, but not because it wants blood, but because the aggressor kills not only physically, but also aims at the very heart of humanity. The aggressor is interested in territories and resources like cream in a cup of coffee, and the essence of such a potion is to dehumanize, to liken another to an attacker, to inform the one who was attacked that he is also an aggressor in his essence, not noble, worthy, humane, cordial, but created to drop to the worst, and thereby reduce it to primitive reactions. The country’s leadership, which repels aggression, has a chance to refute low expectations and not fall for the temptation of evil. Giving protection orders, to do everything to protect the population, this will actually save people and disarm the aggressor, because he also has eyes, ears, a heart, but when return shells fly, everything closes and it is impossible to break through, but when the defender protects , even at the cost of his life, the aggressor sees this, and sees the most important thing, and it hurts to the very heart, but God would bless such wounds.

7. MILITARY AND POLITICAL MANAGEMENT OF ATTACKING COUNTRIES
They need the greatest consolation, because here from consolation there must be the shortest path to repentance. Only out of repentance, out of the understanding that the chosen path was against meaning, can there be a better outcome towards meaning. I know for sure that a person can see a better path, even if one does not want to go along it, and who, in anger, in resentment, can save the life of someone on whom his anger is about to be shed. He can save. A leadership that gives orders for war can save people from destruction. What a wonderful mission! Give the order to keep the peace. A great feat is to step on the throat of your insults, so as not to pass them on, to save another from them. Each of our leaders now has such a chance. A person can overcome his resentment, his demons, his vulnerability, and this is a feat.

8.PEOPLE FROM OTHER COUNTRIES NOT INVOLVED IN THE WAR
How hard it is when you have friends close to you on both sides of the war. When you know what your word is, the gesture becomes many times meaningful for both parties. Only the understanding that these are not two sides, but ONE, one side on which a person stands can help. When you support a person who cannot be divided, split, who is close to you outside of attachment to attributes. It’s hard to keep eyes that can still see and speak to the thoughts, but these can be words of love, because there is one that remains loved. That no one can destroy, ever.

9. THE LEADERSHIP OF OTHER COUNTRIES WHO MAY TAKE THE SIDE OF ANY OF THE OPPOSING COUNTRIES
You have a special mission. But it is not necessary to choose from two sides: there is only one side, this is the side of meaning, which is objective and does not belong to anyone, but everyone can open it with his own key. Appeal to the best human feelings and thoughts, compassion can become a dominant given. Imagine that the bus in which everyone was traveling broke down. Who broke it is less important now than the fact that you need to fix the bus and move on. Other countries can become a master who will say: give the wrench, get the jack, let’s put the boards under the wheels all together, we can’t do it alone, let’s push the bus forward on dry soil. And here we are talking about what will allow you to get on solid ground. This is an ambulance. When together we will push, and the one who turned out to be the culprit of the accident will also be called to push the bus, then later, sitting all together on dry soil, we will extend a handkerchief to the culprit, and say: you are great at doing this, you are strong, it’s good that you ARE capable of this. And he will no longer want to prove that he is a trembling creature and will not kill the old woman with an ax, refusing the dubious laurels of Raskolnikov. And then we will calmly talk about the common soup that needs to be boiled to feed the needy.

10.PEOPLE FROM SOCIALLY VULNERABLE GROUPS: CHILDREN, SICK, OLD PEOPLE
They are mentioned in passing. But they have so much confusion: they are small, or old, or more powerless than those who have more strength in their arms, legs. Their personal vulnerability is superimposed on the situational one.
Children become adults early and forced to be like adults soon. Childhood ceases to be a value, and after all, when we may remember about it when we become adults, or old, and what we may recall about our childhood shelter surfaces when we “do not get well” in adulthood. What kind of childhood will today’s children from warring countries remember? It depends on us to bring additional colors to it, overcoming our helplessness and confusion when thinking about children. It will heal both us and them. Old people can not only feel at risk, but also become Atlantes, on which the meaningfulness of the world can be held, giving with their calmness and care, a sense of reliability, inviolability. Old people can cast aside senile infirmity and pettiness, because they face big tasks: to protect the inner peace in families. Business, work, education, economy, culture are collapsing, but there is a family stronghold – the old people can take it upon themselves. With your mood and attitude, your care, tell us about our childhood, no matter how you were our parents!), about what it was like before our birth – all this will not be superfluous, even if all this has been said more than once. It’s like an old familiar fairy tale, and therefore soothing and stabilizing. Parents can do the same to their children, children on both sides deserve good words. And it is super important not to kindle a war in schools on a national basis – for children will have to live with this later. Rather, help to do something that can get around these contradictions: children are responsive and quick-witted. If this is in a place where there is no fighting, then invite the school class home, tasty food, yes, let it be expensive, but it’s worth it. Come to the class with a conversation, a story about peacefulness, but not in the abstract, but on real living examples. To tell about stories with humor – nothing resists aggression like humor. To break through and break through to something that will help the world even a little bit. “The sieve remains wet.”

11.WOUNDED ON BOTH SIDES
Do not stop bandaging the wounds of everyone who received wounds, regardless of affiliation. A person in need needs help. And by rendering it, even if it is an “enemy”, we take away from battlefields not only the wounded, but also those who can still get there. As many stories as possible about compassion for the wounded, prisoners, and kindness, so that mercy becomes the best anti-tank ditch that a tank cannot pass through.

12.PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LOVED ONE(S) IN WAR
The war will end, but grief will not. Young, strong people are dying, those who could build houses, harvest crops, give birth to children, fly into space. They die on the rise of their lives. When they could still live in health and strength. This is difficult for those who are their family to come to terms with. As grief hardens, it begs punishment. “Kara will not return from the dead” will not take away pain and will even make it even stronger, but a person in the grip of emotions and sad feelings, does not understand the road, and in tears goes astray. These people need help and support. And in the name of themselves, and in the name of their departed loved ones. They, the departed, deserve the best thoughts and feelings about them. Anger, revenge, hatred, and tears alone cannot remain in their memory. Such a monument is unworthy of them. In their lives there was light, love, joy, there were achievements, victories, laughter, joy – all this is their name. Grieving people need a bright memory of their loved ones.
And we all need thoughts of a brighter future. Spring is coming, all living things are blooming, and in us, too, living things can break into the light. In everyone, in everyone.

Download PDF